When you are married to an unsaved husband, marriage can be a lonely journey.
Do you believe in God? Almost everyone knows consciously that there is a higher being that created everything.
But do you believe what the Bible tells us, how God sent his Son, Jesus, to be a sacrifice for our sins?
My husband and I both grew up in homes where church going was a (almost) weekly occurrence. Our parents and grandparents would all have claimed to be believers of Jesus Christ.
One thing was missing however, and that was the TRUTH of being saved by grace, and not by works. There was a great misunderstanding about the implications of what Jesus did for us on the cross.
The truth is we are saved by God’s grace if we come before him in TRUE repentance, and we accept and BELIEVE his wonderful gift for us.
When my husband and I got married, we both wanted to live for God, but our understanding of the Bible was largely at odds.
For years I was married to an unsaved husband.
It would take me years before I knew exactly what my husband believed.
We were married for almost ten years before my husband became a born again Jesus believing, man of God.
God’s amazing power to transform a life was made visible before my very eyes.
Looking back, I realized there were areas I could have responded to differently. I had not responded well to being married to an unsaved husband.
When your husband doesn’t share your faith, you can win him by your actions, by sharing what God has done for you while still being respectful.
5 Things A Wife Should Do When She is Married To A Non-Believer
1.Act out your faith.
1 Peter 2:1-1 tells us the Wives should be in subjection to their own husbands, that if any obey not God’s word, they may be won by the actions of the wife.
Not by your words, but by how you act. You cannot talk your husband into conviction.
However, your actions in life’s difficult situations can do a lot.
2.Share what God has done for you.
So many answered prayers in my lifetime. Internally, I would thank God for them, but I kept silent. Rarely did I give all Glory To God.
In this area, I greatly failed.
3.Show lots of grace.
Again and again. When your husband in no way DESERVES love, realize that you yourself don’t deserve God’s grace either.
Through God, love your husband.
4.Spend a lot of time in prayer and studying God’s word.
Pray that God will soften your husband’s heart and that the Holy Spirit will bring him into TRUE repentance.
Ask God to work through you in showing your husband God’s love for us.
No, your husband may not deserve your respect. His actions might make it very hard for you to respect him, but respect him for WHO he is, not WHAT he is.
He is your husband, and hard it may be, but respect his opinions, ideas and decisions.
If you don’t agree, tell him with kindness but then drop it.
Go into your prayer closet and ask God to work in him.
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What Should A Wife Not Do When She is Married To An Unsaved Husband.
1.Don’t try to teach your husband.
Trying to be a teacher to your husband will not work! Live out your teaching instead, that he may be won by your conversation.
2.Don’t condemn him.
Walls of self-defense rise when you tell him what he is doing wrong, in your opinion. If he is on a path of self destruction, get outside help.
Show him the truth from the Bible, but don’t portray your opinions as truth.
3.Don’t be judgmental.
Not towards him, or about others.
This makes you come across as self-righteous, and your husband will know the areas in which you come short.
There is no one that is perfect, and we ought to cast out the beam in our own eyes before casting out the speck in others (Matthew 7:5).
4.Don’t lose hope.
God’s ways are sure, and he often moves in different ways then we would like. In Lies Women Believe, Nancy Leigh DeMoss shares a story about a woman that had lived for forty years in a marriage to a wicked man.
Many people over the years had counseled her to get out of her marriage.
God kept drawing her back to the vow she had made, and she stayed with her husband. After forty years, her husband finally got saved.
Amazing! Who of us has the patience to endure for forty years? Only by God’s amazing love and wisdom.
5.Don’t become bitter.
Over the years, I fell into great bitterness without realizing it.
One day, after we had been married about four years, I told my husband I hoped to keep from becoming a bitter old woman.
After another four years, that’s exactly who I was becoming.
Ask God to show you how bitterness is a trap of the devil, and to keep you from that snare.
We were married for almost ten years before my husband became a born again Jesus believing, a man of God.
Looking back, I realized there were areas I should have responded to differently.
I should have spent much more time in earnest prayer, as well as not falling into self-righteousness and bitterness.
Praise be to God that he opened my eyes to who I was becoming.
When your husband does not believe in Jesus, and you do, marriage can be a lonely journey.
Are you living with an unbelieving spouse?
How do you share the Gospel with Him? Let me know in the comments below.