When your spouse betrays your trust, it can feel like your relationship is over.
Trust is a true cornerstone of any relationship, and when there is none, there doesn’t seem to be much of a relationship left over.
When trust is broken in marriage, a lot of women give up on their spouses.
Is that you? Maybe you haven’t left your husband, but when you expect him to break your trust, again and again, it does something to a man.
If he knows you are waiting for him to mess up again, it creates in him a rebellion. Our expectations of our husband go a long way.
Yet I know that when we cannot trust each other, it is very hard to be completely open and vulnerable to each other. The ability to be vulnerable between two people is crucial to a strong connection, and once this is broken a marriage tends to go downhill fast..
Maybe you love your husband but cannot trust him not to hurt you with his words.
Or your husband doesn’t make wise decisions with money.
Maybe your husband broke your trust through an affair or pornography use.
Trust once broken is not easily repaired, even when there is a repentant heart behind it and promises that it will not happen again.
My husband betrayed my trust very early in our relationship, through a difficult situation. Already a very untrusting person by nature, I found it very hard to move past this.
Trust once broken can be hard to regain.
I loved my husband, but for many years I struggled to trust him.
A heart broken is a heart scarred. However, God’s amazing healing power can remove all hurts.
Rebuilding trust took years. I wanted the pain to disappear overnight. It didn’t. Constant struggle with pornography did nopt help to strengthen my trust. I came to the point where I expected him to fall. I expected him to fail.
Praise God He is the giver of life, in nature and in marriage. The Lord will restore the years the locusts have eaten when both spouses come to God with a repentant heart and a willingness to do His will.
Rebuilding trust with your husband will take time if he has hurt you badly.
However, what you can do is submit to God, Forgive, Obey, and Trust God. God is our helper in all situations.
6 Things A Wife Should Do Who is Struggling To Trust Her Husband.
If you have trust issues, chances are that you struggle to trust overall.
I struggled to trust my husband, but I also didn’t trust that God would take care of us and that He would not allow more then I could handle.
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Dorcas Stutzmann wrote a book about the root of a woman’s inability to trust. Called Trust or Control, this book was an eye-opener for me.
Very often, the reason we cannot trust is that we are not willing to give up the need to control every situation.
A woman’s inability to trust her husband’s driving is because we feel that we are not in control. As far back as in the garden of Eden, Eve wanted to control her own life.
She was not willing to trust that God knew what was best for her, and so are we to this day.
If your husband is involved in activities that are against the law, seek help. That is not a place to be quiet. Get help for him, either law enforcement or counseling.
Start a prayer and gratitude journal.
Write down what you are praying for. Each day, write down one thing that you are thankful for, as well as asking for the help you need.
It’s amazing to see how God works in our lives if we take the time to look. Remember to go back and praise God for the wonders He has done for you.
The Bible tells us to submit to God, and also to our husband. To submit means to yield your own will to the authority of another person.
Don’t be a rebellious wife that is determined to win every fight, and to get her own way. Submit first to God, and then to your husband.
Submission is a state of the heart. If you pretend to be sweet, when internally you are steaming, your heart is not truly submissive.
Sweet submission will work a love in your husband that has the power to win him.
So hard to do, when your heart has been battered to shreds. When my husband had broken my trust once again, he would ask my forgiveness and oh how I would battle.
My carnal nature would seek revenge, and say NO! You Hurt me, there is no forgiveness for you.
However, every time the Lord would gently turn my heart to forgiveness.
I knew that is what God wanted me to do, as I too am in need of His forgiveness daily.
Ask God to help you forgive completely. Learning to trust again will only come after you have forgiven.
Allow your Husband To Make His Own Mistakes.
If you can’t trust your husband with money, let him feel the consequences. Place your trust in God, that he will take care of your needs, and allow your husband to fail.
If you see that your husband might be making an unwise decision, kindly tell him about it.
Then leave it in God’s hands. If your husband fails, he will face the consequences and learn.
If you always prevent him from making mistakes, he will resent your input. Let him make his own mistakes.
Only God is able to make your husband into a trustworthy person.
However, God CAN change your husband into a truthful and honest person. Ask God to soften and change your spouse’s heart so he will serve God with his whole heart.
When his relationship is right with God, he will become a person that is worthy of your trust. A wife’s prayers can change her relationship with her husband.
Not only will God change him, but He will also change you to be a more loving wife. The Power of a Praying Wife is a wonderful devotional that will show you how important your prayers are for your husband.
I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It was a life-changer for me, and I know that every woman needs to read it. It is not a comfortable read, be prepared to be convicted, but it is so necessary for women to see the truth.
A Prayer To Trust My Husband Again
Heavenly Father, I come before you today with my heart and place it in your hands. You know my husband’s struggles, and how he has so often betrayed me.
I find it very hard to trust him, Lord, and don’t believe that he will not hurt me again. Help me to place my trust in you Lord, and not in man.
God, Help me to trust my husband again.
Change him into a man that is worthy of my trust. Heal this heart that is broken. Help me to forgive him for treating me wrongfully, and for breaking my trust.
Help me to overcome this anger I feel towards him.
In Jesus Name I Pray.
Related: A Prayer For My Husband
Will you be able to trust your husband again? That depends on the circumstances.
However, if your husband is truly repentant and allows God’s work in his life, God will help your marriage to move forward. Time and prayer heal a lot of hurts.
Make the effort to place your trust fully in God, and allow Him to transform your life.
With so much sin in this world, trust is a rare and valuable virtue in wedded life, and it is something we dearly need.
Do you struggle to trust your husband? Let me know in the comments below.
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