Be a Better Wife Part 4: Respect Your Husband

Showing your husband respect and honor will increase your husband’s love for you, and improve your marriage relationship.

Almost as well known as submission, showing your husband respect is a well-known verse of the bible.

However, too often we know it with our heads, and yet don’t truly act upon what we know. We don’t believe it with our hearts.

 What our heart full of is, will be what comes out. We can only pretend for a little while, because out of the abundance of our heart the mouth speaketh!

Respect is vital to a man’s ability to love his wife. Several ways to show him respect is by listening to his opinions, asking for his help, letting him lead, initiating sex, and learning to admire and appreciate him.

We had been married for ten years when I first read the book “Love and Respect.” Written by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, it really opened my eyes.

Now if someone had asked me, I would have said that I was respectful to my husband. I didn’t demand my own way, I didn’t treat him with meanness, and I did my best to allow him to lead.

I pretended to be a passive, non-opinionated wife. Yet, for some reason, my husband was always able to read me very well, and would clearly know when I disapproved of things he said or did. Which was much too often. When things didn’t go my way, I would sulk!

Respect starts in the heart. If you don’t truly hold your husband in high regard, it shows. Passive disrespect can ruin a marriage just as well as aggressive disrespect.

I realized I didn’t hold my husband in high regard the way I ought to. Your husband might not always deserve respect, nobody of us does, but do it as unto the Lord.

Why is Respect to Husbands So Important?

Men have a NEED to be respected and are listed as one of the four needs of men. Something about disrespect affects them differently than what it does to women. That’s why it is so important for wives to honor their husbands. 

While women need respect too, for us it is not as important as love. 

Respect is what will win your husband’s heart.

Respect for others is the basis of taking care of the other above yourself. Putting others before yourself and holding them in high regard. Teaching our children to respect the people around them is very important because it will cause them to treat others with high regard. 

This is the same way we ought to treat our husband. Too often we treat strangers better than the ones on our own household. Respect is a basic moral value that can make all the difference in your marriage.

What does it mean to honour your husband?

Honor and respect are often used interchangeably. They mean the same thing, and when you give honor unto your husband, you are showing him respect. 

Honor your husband by holding his ideas, thoughts and conduct in high regard.

Of course, this would be easy if he was always worthy of respect, but he is not (like everyone else). No one always deserves respect. However, when we respect our husband simply because the Word of God commands us to, we respect him for who he is and not what he does.

What does the Bible Say about respecting your husband?

There are several bible verses that speak about honoring each other, and one specifically addressed to women.

Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself: and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

1 Peter 2:17 Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.

Proverbs 8:18 Riches and Honour are with me; yea, durable riches and righteousness.

1 Peter 3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

How to Respect Your Husband When He Is Not Being Honourable

 This is the tough one. Of course it is easy to respect when he is being honourable. Being respectful when he is NOT being worthy of it, is HARD! 

This is where repentance and truth come in. Realizing that I had been disrespecting my husband, I repented of it to God and my husband, asked for forgiveness, and tried again. And again.

Then I remember the commandment to respect my husband. When I cannot respect my husband because of what he does, I do it unto the Lord. Respect my husband as a way of honoring God. Colossians 3:17

I fail. Continually. One thing that I have learned however is that when my husband starts becoming defensive, I have somehow portrayed disrespect. This is a good time to step back, and ask myself how my heart is.

Changing my tone of voice, and what I say often makes the difference.

Instead of accusing, a better way to communicate is by sharing how that made you feel.  

7 Ways You Can Show Respect For Your husband

Listen to what he says.

Take it into thoughtful consideration without just brushing it off. Too many times where I have not really listened, and instead made assumptions in my head about what he said.

Learn to admire and appreciate him.

Your husband will become who you expect him to be. Learn to look for the good in him, and encourage and admire that.

Let him lead.

Men were created to conquer and be in authority. Don’t try to take his place and manage everything.

Initiate sex.

One of the primary needs of men, a wife withholding sex from her husband greatly disrespects who he is. This makes him feel inferior and like a failure. Make him feel like he is THE MAN!

If you struggle with low sex drive, you really need to check out this course.

Accept his opinions.

Maybe you don’t agree with him, but respect them as the opinions of your HUSBAND. They are valuable because he is valuable in the sight of God.

Tell him verbally that you respect him.

Words of affirmation go a long way in building up you man.

Ask for his help.

When he knows you need his advice and input, it will build him up and encourage him. Let him do the hard stuff for you. Sure, we might be able to change the oil on the car (maybe some of you), but this is usually a man’s department. Let him carry the heavy stuff instead of having a ‘can do’ attitude.

Conclusion

Wives, remember, respect to men is as love to women. When I feel that my husband does not love me, our marriage is on shaky ground. In the same way, when a man feels disrespected, he feels unloved.

Showing your husband respect and honor will increase your husband’s love for you, and improve your marriage relationship quickly.

Here is how to make Your Husband a Priority.

Do you struggle to show your husband due respect? Let me know if this is something you are struggling with, in the comments below.

Read Here For Part 5: A Great Sex Life

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