10 Things a Wife Can Do When Her Husband Doesn’t Want Sex

Again and again, I hear about wives being rejected by their husbands sexually.

This is not ok! Just as much as a wife needs to fill the needs of her husband, a husband also should fill the needs of his wife. 

Physical as well as emotional.

If you are the wife of a man that has a low (or nonexistent) sex drive, I cannot feel for you. My husband fills my needs more than well! I am thankful for that. But…..

I have gotten a couple of requests for a post written for wives that are on the opposite side. They are the ones with the high drive, and they married a low drive husband. 

So I decided to put in the research for this and get it out there for the wives that need this.

High drive and low drive depends on your perspective. If your husband wants to have sex once a week, he still would not be considered a low drive.

There are wives out there that haven’t been intimate physically with their husband for MONTHS. 

That is not ok. The Bible clearly tells us that husbands and wives should not refrain from sex for a long time. Only by consent for a time, that they give themselves over to fasting and prayer.

So that Satan should not be able to tempt you for your lack of self control. 

1 Corinthains 6:3 “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto her husband.

We should not keep ourselves from each other. Sex should be selfless instead of selfish, which is not the message we are getting from the world today. 

If you are a wife that has a husband that has no desire for sex, you might feel helpless and in despair.

While these are only suggestions, try them. You have nothing to lose, except maybe a great time!

  1. Encourage him to eat well and exercise.
  2. Lighten up.
  3.  Live within your means.
  4. Be an encouraging wife.
  5.  Take care of yourself.
  6. Try to take a load of his burden.
  7.  Give him a heads up
  8.  Try a different time of day.
  9.  Talk about your needs. 
  10. Go to the doctor.

Encourage him to eat well and exercise.

Diet can play a huge role in sex drive. Encourage healthy eating and exercise. I complete lack of carbs can actually decrease sex drive, but too much flour and sugar also do. Balanced meals are best so that you both feel great is best.

Lighten up.

Be a joy-filled wife. Learn to laugh and be happier. Thankfulness produces joy, and once you start practicing it, it will spread over into other areas of your life too.

No man wants a sour wife.

Learn to find things funny, and try to make your husband laugh. Laughter releases stress and stimulates many organs. 

 Live within your means.

Are you content with what your husband provides for you? Learn to manage your home well, and budget your money wisely.

For some men, caring for their family is a heavy responsibility. Do your part to manage your money well.

Be an encouraging wife

Words of affirmation are a powerful tool to build up and encourage your husband. Encouragement will help your husband feel secure in your belief and love of him.

If you need extra help, you can download my free encouragement planner.

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    Take care of yourself

    Do you take the time and energy to keep yourself pretty? It is much too easy to slack off and stay in pajamas all day. 

    Make an effort to eat healthy, exercise, and clean yourself up. Don’t stop just because you got married. Make an effort to smell and look great!

    Try to take a load of his burden

    If your husband is under a lot of pressure and stress, ease his burden in any way possible.

    If there are any ways to help him out at home, with his responsibilities, do it. This will leave more of his time for you and your children.

     Give him a heads up

    For some men, if they have a heads up that you want to have sex, he will be much more likely to be prepared. Tell him at lunch that you “need him”, a bit later.

     Try a different time of day

    If you always have sex in the evening, try the morning. Or during the day of possible. See what works.

     Talk about your needs. 

    Communication is key. Talking to each other, sharing and being vulnerable with each other does not always come easily, but it is what makes you grow closer to each other. 

    Get him to go to the doctor and get blood work done.

    Sometimes we need professional help. Hormone imbalances and other health issues could be affecting his sex drive. It’s worth it to check it out.

    Mismatched libidos and low sex drive husbands can wreak havoc on a healthy marriage relationship. Physical intimacy is just as important to a marriage as healthy communication and mutual respect.

    If you are the wife of a man with low sex drive, try these tips. Let me know in the comments below which ones helped you.

    2 thoughts on “10 Things a Wife Can Do When Her Husband Doesn’t Want Sex”

    1. Hi there we are an older couple 82 and 72 respectively,, our 2nd marriage,, both widowed,, my husband has E D but used to pleasure me but lately has lost interest, he is kind and generous but I don’t want to push him
      There is mild prostrate enlargement, had tests done urologist not very concerned
      What should I do,,, should I always initiate or wait for him.

      1. There is no problem with initiating. But also share with him that you enjoy when he initiates as well! Open communication goes a long way in a healthy marriage.

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