Learning how to make your husband happy when he is feeling discouraged can make a big difference in your marriage.
A discouraged spouse can bring down the whole family very quickly.
Is it on the wife to make her husband happy?
Your husband’s happiness does not rely on you, or what you do.
Yet, there are things that a wife can do to help lift her husband when he is feeling down.
It’s amazing how fast your day can go downhill when your husband comes in discouraged, and depressed.
It does not take long before the entire family is being dragged down emotionally. Yet, becoming discouraged is a tactic of the enemy, and too often we fall into the trap.
We start believing lies about ourselves and about others, that on a good day would never have any power against our mood.
My husband is not an overly emotional person, as I doubt most men are. He is usually the one that is very practical and doesn’t let mishaps and misfortunes bring him down.
However, some days life is just too much.
We had that kind of day this week. It started with a dead lamb (we are small farmers).
Then a farm contract seemed it would fall through, as well. And then another thing went wrong.
By the end of the day, my husband was discouraged and depressed to the point where I was wondering what would go wrong next.
I don’t see my husband that discouraged often. He is the stable one in our family, and getting down is not part of the plan.
I struggle with knowing how to help him.
Being an encouraging wife is not always easy. Sometimes it can be hard to know what the right thing to do or say is.
Words can be a big encouragement, but there are times for silence as well.
How can a wife be an encouragement to her husband when he is feeling discouraged?
I remembered the story of Job, and how he said ‘if he slay me, yet will I trust in him.” In times of discouragement, we are prone to doubt God’s providence.
Unfortunately, telling this to my husband when he was feeling down was probably not the right thing to do.
While a wife is not responsible for your husband’s happiness, there are still things that a wife can do to help her discouraged husband become happy again.
Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another’s burden, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
Bearing your husband’s burdens will help him to be able to carry on.
7 Tips on How To Encourage Your Husband When He is Feeling Down.
1.Don’t take it personally.
Maybe you are the reason for his grumpiness, but the reality is you probably aren’t the problem. It’s easy to feel that the fault lies on yourself, but usually, that’s not the issue.
Do your best not to become defensive when his mood starts to rub off on you.
Know that seasons of discouragement are part of life, and don’t let it hurt your feelings if he decides he needs more time alone.
2.Be willing to listen, without offering help.
Men often tend to want to fix our problems, but I find that when it’s the other way around, we want to fix their problems as well!
We want to know what the problem is, and how we can fix it. Know that there are times you can do nothing about the problem, and you need to accept that.
If your husband WANTS to talk, then listen. If he doesn’t, give him space.
Knowing which one is the right thing to do can be difficult, but just be there for him. Let him start the conversation, or just be silent and a comfort and support to him.
3.Help where you can.
It might be as little as giving him a calm and clean home to rest in. Don’t let clutter make it more stressful for him.
If there is something that you can do to take off the pressure, or to change the situation, then do your part.
Life can look like a mountain when you are discouraged, and taking on some responsibilities can lighten the burden.
Sex can do wonders in helping him feel less like a failure. Make him feel like a man!
Physical touch is important to most men, and can help make him feel less of a failure.
5.Help him to see the good.
Chances are he is feeling like a failure. Encourage and uplift him with your words and actions. Help him to see the good in life.
Having a positive attitude towards things will help shift his mood as well.
6.Pray over him.
Take his trails to the Lord for him. He might not have the spiritual strength to pray himself.
You are his wife, a helper to him, and there is strength in numbers. Intercede on his behalf.
James 5:16 “…pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”
7.Encourage him to talk to a friend.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do when you are feeling like a failure is to get out of the house, but usually, that’s the best medicine for discouragement.
A godly friend can help change his perspective, and improve his mood.
Proverbs 27:9 “And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.”
It’s hard to be optimistic and happy in the face of a discouraged spouse, but it is not impossible. Surrender your cares to our faithful Savior.
God knows exactly what we need, and how to take care of us.
Be an encouragement to your husband, and help him through this trial. Always ready to listen, to show love, and to take on his burdens.
You are his helper and lover and you will both get through this. His unhappiness will pass, and he will all the more appreciate you for being there for him.