Learning how to love your husband unconditionally will bring joy into your heart, and strengthen and build your marriage.
“I just want you to love me, even if I am a complete failure.”
The words stung. Did I not do that? My mouth would have spoken that, but unfortunately, my heart was far from it.
Of course, I love my husband.
Yet,somewhere along the way I had started acting like my love was conditional. If he wasn’t giving enough of his time to me, I felt unloved.
If he didn’t think about me, but rather about others, I would feel unloved.
When I felt unloved, I acted unloving. So if he did something unloving (condition), I acted unloved.
My love was not unconditional.
Jesus’ love for us is not conditional, and we should be like him. He loved us, WHILE WE WERE YET SINNERS.
True love is not a reciprocal love, but rather a love that loves when not being loved.
1 John 4:20 says “If someone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?”
Too often our love is conditionally when it never should be. It is our self-centeredness that causes us to love only when we are being loved.
Love your enemies. This instruction from Jesus was not for those that already are loving you, but those that hate you.
How hard is that? Without Jesus, this is not possible.
How to Love your husband Unconditionally
Put Jesus first.
You will never be truly able to love your husband if you don’t love God. God is love, and without Him, we are not even capable of loving others.
1 John 4:7 “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.”
The closer you grow to Jesus, the more like Jesus you will be.
Put him first in your life, and you will find you have more love in your heart towards your husband, and will also be more lovable.
Love without expectations.
Offer your love freely.
Everyone has certain expectations from others, and while we should always expect the best of others, unrealistic expectations can quickly ruin a relationship.
Love without expecting something back.
God loved us while we were yet sinners, and we should love our husband even when he is less than perfect.
Learning to love with grace will help you love your husband unconditionally.
Be considerate of his wants and feelings.
The older I get, the more I realize how self-centered I am. It is our carnal nature that desires a life that is easy and self-fulfilling.
Our happiness is too often the center of our life. Seek to please your husband, and give up your own rights for his sake.
Submit to each other. This means to surrender our rights, and let the other have his way.
Talk through your issues.
How easy it is to dig a hole, and bury your issues in it. Be honest with your husband, and share with him your heart.
It is easy to try and bury our hurt, but stonewalling is not loving your husband.
It builds distrust and independence, which is not beneficial to building a stronger marriage.
Recognize what is true.
Our emotions are not dependable. If I asked myself if there is truth to what my feelings are telling me, I often realize that my feelings are lying.
I know my husband loves me, and when I struggle with feeling hurt and neglected, I need to ask myself what is true.
The thoughts that enter our minds are not always true, and we need to recognize this and take every thought captive that is against the knowledge of God.
Work through the hard times.
Every marriage goes through rocky times. In the midst of the trenches, it is easy to become discouraged and depressed. Keep believing in the good of your husband, and know that God has a plan for your marriage.
If you will acknowledge God in all your ways, He will direct your path. Praise Him for his guidance!
Pray for him.
The power of a praying wife is a big weapon against spiritual darkness.
As you pray for him each day, you will discover your heart softening towards him, and you will have more compassion and kindness towards him. Pray with earnestness, not in a lukewarm manner.
Fight for your marriage on your knees, with all your heart, and you will learn to love your husband unconditionally.
Ask God for His love to flow through you. Learning to love others as God loves us is a big step towards spiritual maturity.
Accept His Faults and Failures
Every one of us has areas in which we struggle. Your husband does too. We should never accept sin, but rather speak the truth in love.
Many times it is not sin that causes you to withhold your love and affection from your spouse, but rather small annoyances and a critical spirit.
Your husband needs to know that he is accepted by you, faults and all.
It is because of a lack of understanding of God’s love for us that we struggle to love unconditionally.
God loved us while we were yet sinners. He hates evil, but he loves the sinner. Look past the imperfection in your husband, and see the soul that God knew before he was born.
God has a plan and a purpose for your husband too, and He set you in the place as his wife to be a helper and an encouragement to him.
Learning how to love your husband unconditionally will bring joy into your heart, and strengthen and build your marriage.