A woman has a powerful influence in her home, much more than we are often aware of.
The complex relationship of being a submissive woman, who obeys and honors her husband, yet who has such a powerful influence on her household that it is within her power to build it up or to pull it down.
A while back I was struggling with what God wanted from me.
The enemy was telling me that women were nothing in the building of God’s kingdom.
I even came so far as to wonder if the Word of God even applied to women. After all, nearly all the stories were about men, and the majority of the Bible was written to men.
Maybe women were sort of an afterthought, and of much less value.
It feels terrible to even write that. When we don’t understand God’s love for us, it is easy to fall for satans lies.
The woman is the only of God’s creation that was not created from dust.
God made a woman from the rib of a man (Genesis 2:22), and Adam said “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.”
There was a purpose to God creating women. God saw that it was not good for man to be alone, and therefore he created a helper for him.
A woman has a lot of pull on the atmosphere of her home and in the attitudes of her children.
Every woman will either build her house or pull it down.
Proverbs 14:11 says that a wise woman builds it, and a foolish pulls it down.
It’s been my heart’s desire to be a wise woman that builds her home. But what does it mean?
How does a wise woman build her home?
Don’t be contentious.
Proverbs 21:19 says, “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.”
A contentious woman is one that looks to make strife wherever she can.
It is the opposite of being a peacemaker. Proverbs 27:15 also mentions that a contentious woman is like the continual dropping on a very rainy day. In other words, annoying!
Seek to make peace, instead of bringing strife into your home.
BE an encourager
Your words have so much power over your husband and children. Proverbs 18:21 says that ‘death and life are in the power of the tongue.’
The words you speak to your children and your husband matter. They can tear down, or build up. Every wise woman should be an encouragement to her family. The next point comes into play here too…
Look to the good (don’t be negative)
Look for the good! Philippians 4:8 is a favorite of mine.
It tells us to think about things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report. How often do we tend to think negatively about something or someone?
Fixing our minds on the good in this world helps us to be a positive influence on our children.
It also cultivates an attitude of gratitude in our hearts.
Have a Surrendered Heart
Trust comes so hard for most women, and it can make us fearful and demanding.
Learn to accept things as they come, and fight against the desire to control everything.
Once you are able to surrender your fears to the Lord and learn to trust Him, you will be well on your way to being a wise woman that builds her home.
The most important step to having a surrendered heart is cultivating a close relationship with Jesus. I know how hard that can be, with everything that is on your plate.
Being intentional about making time for Christ will make all the difference. The closer you are to Jesus, the more peace will be in your heart.
This 21 Day Bible and Prayer Planner will help you get there. You can buy it here.
Manage Your Home Well
When I study the Proverbs 31 woman, I know I fall short.
She seems to have everything under control! I, on the other hand, sometimes wonder what I am going to feed my family.
Being a hard worker, one who organizes and manages her home well, is a mark of a wise woman.
Learning to organize and manage your household will not only give you more rest, but it will also create a peaceful haven for your family to come home to.
The home is the heart of your family and should be a place of peace, rest, and joy.
True honor comes from the heart. It is not an outward show of respect, but an inward acceptance of the one who God has provided to be your leader.
Train Her Children
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As a wife and mother, you have a great responsibility.
The future generation of warriors for Christ is being brought up in your kitchen.
Be diligent in training them, and teaching them about God’s Word and ways to handle situations that come up in life.
You will make mistakes. All of us do.
What we do with those mistakes is the difference between a wise woman and an unwise one.
The Bible is the ultimate child training manual, but this book has been a huge blessing for me as well.
Have a Heart For Others
Isaiah 58:10 “If you extend your soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul, Then your light shall dawn in darkness, and your darkness shall be as noonday.”
Your home will be the center of your service, but don’t forget others. It allows children to see their mother serving outside the home. Not only will this teach them to serve, but it will also help them be less selfish.
Some women spend more time serving others than their own families.
This is not good and right. A balance must be found.
Serve your own family, but always have a heart for others. Include your family in serving them. They will learn powerful character lessons through this.
God has put a deep desire into our hearts to nurture, to nest, to build a beautiful home for our family.
This is desire goes into how our home looks (the external), but also the internal.
Becoming a wise woman that builds her house will not come from one decision to speak kinder, to be more gentle, and to serve joyfully.
It will come from a dedicated decision to seek the Lord first and to honor Him in everything that you do.
Pray that God will transform you into a wise woman.
This is my prayer for myself. I desire to serve where God has placed me, for his honor and glory.
May many wise women rise up and choose to build their homes instead of tearing them down.